As this year comes to a close I stop to ponder what has happened this year. As it naturally happens i really dont remember what happened at the beginning of the year but i wasnt in a good place. I wasnt making the best decisions and generally i think my health was declining as well. Summer hit and i had to move back home and that was a blessing and a curse, but i will talk about that later. i made it through summer and actually saved some money and startred to get back on my feet. School started and well I was prepared in a sense to face the challenges of academia. As the year progressed i found myself going further and further into solitude, this wasnt exactly my choice but i found that i was and still am comfortable with my choice. it has made me be more of an independent person and comfortable with who i am.
Some of my friends noticed this and tried to bring me out of my solitude and try and get me to be more social. It worked for a while but i found that i wasnt really being true to who i was and what i wanted out of life. So back i went into my solitude. I have lost a few friends over it, or so it feels as though i have lost them.
I think that by being alone a lot of my time i have found that its a waste of time to tell little white lies to get by, to be socially acceptable. Why would i want to be that when our society it mostly dishonest? not that i am saying that everyone is dishonest all of the time or at all. I am making one of my resolutions to be honest this year.
Also a few friends have come back into my life that i value greatly, one in particular has made a difference in my outlook on life. I got to know her almost two years ago and then she had to leave moscow and go back home but i never forgot about her. She entered back into my life recently and it hasnt been the same. she will never truly understand how much she has impacted my life and I am grateful that she has graced me with her presence. I cant express how much she means to me.
So what have i learned you might ask...Well I have learned that i am an individual, with my own ideas and thoughts. I can make my own decisions and wont let anyone stand in my way of getting closer to me dreams. I also have learned how to be on my own and how to be comfortable with being alone.
Until Tomorrow
